


30 Days of Smut -  Day 29 : Last time for a long time

by casey270



Series: 30 Days of Smut [29]
Category: Isaac Carpenter (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 17:16:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/652588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casey270/pseuds/casey270
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy knows this isn't forever</p>
            </blockquote>





	30 Days of Smut -  Day 29 : Last time for a long time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kittys_devil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittys_devil/gifts), [beniblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beniblue/gifts).



Tommy knows this isn’t forever. He fucking knows it, alright? He can’t make himself see it as anything else, though, when this feels like the end of the world. And it _is_ the end of the world he wants. They’re playing for separate people now, and that’s something he thought would never happen. Until it did.

Now, there’s gonna be the whole fucking world between them for so long it might as well be forever. Isaac’s going out on tour first with Jesse Jo, and then he’s gonna be gone with Adam for a month...maybe longer if they get more gigs. This is the last time they’re gonna be together in longer than his heart can even understand, and instead of taking advantage of every second they have, he’s lost in missing what’s still right here with him.

He’s having such a goddamned hard time focusing on tonight - on living in the moment and showing Isaac how much these last few hours together mean to him. He wants to say so fucking much and do even more, but all he can do is pull Isaac in for a bone crushing hug and hold on tight.

He holds, and holds, and he can feel how much pressure he's putting on Isaac, but he can’t make himself let go. If he lets go, he knows he’s gonna break apart right here. He can feel the tears starting to burn their way out, and he fights like hell to blink them back. There’s no fucking way he’s gonna start bawling like a baby.

But Isaac knows what’s going through his head and his heart, and says, “Talk to me, beb,” in that voice that’s full of genuine concern, and it gets to him. It makes him realize all over again that this is the last time he’s gonna hear that voice in person for who knows how long, and it hurts just as much as it did when Isaac first told him he was leaving.

He can’t talk to Isaac, though, because he’s choking on all the emotions that are suffocating him, covering him with the weight and darkness of his heart breaking, and he’s just no fucking good with words.

But Isaac knows him. Isaac knows him better than anyone else, and he doesn’t push for words that won’t come, that can’t come. Isaac holds him, holding his face between the palms of his hands and tells him what he needs to hear. “Show me, Tommy. If you can’t talk to me, then show me. We have all night. You can show me everything you’re feeling.”

He thinks maybe that might be easier, but how can he show Isaac everything? It might be best to start with one thing - just one little thing that means so much to him. So he leans in and kisses Isaac’s eyelids so very gently - not much more than a brush of lips against skin, because those eyes don’t just look at him, they look into him. They always see just what he needs, just when he needs it most.

And he kisses the hands that are holding him, because he loves the comfort and warmth and strength that he always feels in them.

He kisses Isaac’s mouth for so many reasons. Because it has the words that can make even the worst day better. Because its smile can make his heart sing and his dick hard. Because Isaac knows when he needs a little kiss to get him through the hard times and when he needs more just to get him hard.

He pushes Isaac’s shirt up and over his head, running his hands over the warm skin as he goes. He can’t count the number of sleepless nights he’s spent pressed up against that chest, just being able to feel the heartbeat enough to get him through the long hours until dawn.

He unbuttons and unzips Isaac’s pants, pushing them down far enough to get his hands on Isaac’s dick. He wants to drop to his knees and take it into his mouth, memorizing the heft and the feel and the taste of it, but Isaac has other ideas.

He feels Isaac taking over, and he hopes he got enough of his feelings out with his touches, because all he wants to do now is feel Isaac inside him, just one last time, one time to hold him, one time to love him, one time to fuck him, before it all falls apart and Isaac has to leave.

Isaac’s being so gentle with him, taking off his clothes for him while he just stands there, laying him on the bed, using his fingers to open him up, and he wants to tell him that he doesn’t need gentle right now. He wants to feel it. He needs to have the reminder even when Isaac’s gone tomorrow of what they’re doing now. But Isaac can’t be anything but gentle with him, because he knows Tommy too well. He would know how close he is to breaking.

Isaac keeps up the easy pace and the soft touches, moving in and out of him. He feels the butterfly light caress of the kisses Isaac leaves on his skin while the heat builds between them. He stores the tempo and the rhythm in the back of his mind, ready to take out when he doesn’t think he’ll be able to take one more night apart. 

He keeps the taste of Isaac there, too. And a picture of how his eyes look now, hooded and dark and almost desperate. This is what he wants to see every fucking time he closes his eyes. And when he falls apart under Isaac, he knows he won’t break, because he’ll have the memory of how those arms are strong enough to hold him together, just like they’re doing now.


End file.
